BACKGROUND CHECK at The Players' Ring

This is the most unbiased review of the play Background Check you will ever read.

I mean, it’s not like I think Jamie Bradley is one of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet. And it’s not like I am a sucker for anything Teddi Kenick-Bailey, Liz Locke, and Todd Hunter do on stage. And it ain’t like I ripped off a joke the immensely funny Matt Schofield told backstage during An Evening of Grand Guignol for my next show. No, it ain’t like that at all.

And it’s certainly not like I watched the touching scene between Jasmin Hunter and Michelle Blouin Wright with both piqued and peaked interest.

It’s not like the completely inappropriate part of me laughed at everything that came out of Kevin Baringer’s mouth and at every longing look he gave to someone else’s tucchus. It’s not like I’m jealous of the fact that Brett Reis can direct, design lights, and play a German villain all at the same time.

He didn’t do all three at once? He designed the lights and did the direction before he stepped on stage? Well, that’s a simplistic way of looking at it, you fucktard. The man’s genius. Are you denying his genius? Because I know a couple of CIA agents, an immigration officer, and a few other bad-asses who might have something to say about that.

Oh, and speaking of multi-talented motherfuckers, it’s not like I marvel at Molly Dowd Sullivan’s work both on stage and off. It’s not like I feel guilty that we might actually have to paint over a couple of the amazing things she’s done when Temptress goes up in a few weeks.

It’s not like I think about Gina Bowker wrangling all these hoodlums and go, “How’d she do that?”

And it’s not like I think G. Matthew Gaskell delivered a farce like only he could, that I think back to the slight—very slight, if I’m honest, and let’s face it: I’m honest to a fault—nerves I sensed in him as he pitched this last February and want to say, “Man, you delivered. You fucking delivered.”

It’s not like that at all.

Yes, this is the most unbiased review of Background Check you will ever read. It’s not like I loved it, or anything.

And it’s not like I’m going to beat the shit out of you if you don’t get your ass over to The Players’ Ring to see it before it closes on January 19. No, not at all.

For tickets and showtimes, click here. And if my review hasn’t convinced you to go already, here’s a little bit about the show:

Meet Walter and Kitty. A perfectly nice couple, having a perfectly nice evening. But on this one particular evening, imagine what would happen if ALL their dirty little secrets came knocking on their door. Literally. Sound crazy? Well that’s what farce is. And Background Check has all the ingredients: A dead body, a man in a dress and a gay Dominican proctologist facing deportation to Canada. Join Jamie Bradley, Teddi May and a cast of all your local favorites as we present to you the greatest, worst night in Walter and Kitty’s lives.