The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.
At some point yesterday or today (I can’t remember which) Stephanie came back from Maine to celebrate New Year’s with me. Things were not entirely pleasant. The stress of senior projects was getting to us and it seemed like winter break would be all to brief a respite from the agony of dealing with our readers and their seeming disgust with our pursuits.
All of us were melodramatic when it came to our senior projects though. I didn’t know that then, but I do know that now.
Anyway, I bought tickets to see Blue Man Group as a present for Stephanie because I knew she’d never been and we didn’t have any plans for New Year’s anyway. I think she was a little perturbed because I spent money I should have been saving for our upcoming Disney trip, but she was otherwise excited. She’d been hearing what a good show it was for ages.
So we drove into Malden Center station and took the subway into Boston to see the show. We were cordial and we enjoyed ourselves but it was beginning to feel like the winter of 1994-1995 all over again, where a seemingly great relationship was about to falter at the first sign of a storm.
Stephanie wasn’t feeling well when we got back on the train, headed out of the city and then ate at Boston Market in Malden. She still wasn’t feeling well when we arrived at Jimmy’s place for his New Year’s party. I don’t know how much of this “not feeling well” was actual physical sickness and how much was just her not wanting to be there, but I do know that there were only a few people at the party she felt truly comfortable around and that maybe this wasn’t the way she’d envisioned spending New Year’s.
We left the party shortly after midnight and I don’t remember if I drove her back to Angela’s (where she was staying from time to time) or if we drove back to my place. I am more inclined to believe I drove her back to my place for the night.
And that was basically New Years of 1998-1999, the last New Year’s before I started keeping this journal and keeping even better track of what the hell I did to ring in each new year.